this is us now

may 10, 2007. 2:58 am. this is us now.

still standing.

it wasn't as bad as i thought. kala ko i won't be liking my class pero ok naman pala. it's certainly not the best which makes it a good one. ineexpect ko na dami sana magugulo & maiingay pero hindi pala, muka ngang isa pa ko sa mag-eemerge na madaldal in the near future. pero so far, clean slate...w/ matching "pinupuri ko ang iyong magandang simula" sa filipino notebook from my adviser, ms. bongiad. at last, na-fifeel ko naman na meron may kailangan sakin sa class (kahit 1/2 lengthwise lang ang hinihingi) unlike sa semis na abot langit ang mga tao dahil sa kanilang achievements & everything. but i miss them din naman especially the friends i made there. speakin of friends, we've a table in the canteen na every morning, recess, & lunch...hanapin nyo na lang. basta may makita kayo dun na magkakaibigang may mga pamaypay na nagtatawanan, yun na yun. search in interviews next week na pero i'm still medyo bad trip sa core kasi hindi ko gusto ang pamamalakad na nangyayari. how can i put myself into good use pa diba?

kakadaan lang ng june 24, the 1st 24 na hindi kami. kakapanibago. kakamiss. kakaloka. kakasad. 10 months na supposed to be but it's all gone now. however we're still friends but we don't talk that often na, usually weekends na lang or kaya kung may natitirang "extra" time. i still find myself longing for him. it sucks nga thinking na you're too focused on your studies when all you want naman can't be found in books or math equations.

"chaque fois que tu ton va...je pretend que fu fais bien"

forgot to put my name in my last entry. 1 month na pala tong blog natin andre.

anyway...tangna!!! sobrang bad trip ako right now!!! as in grrr, parang gusto ko sumabog!  2 things happened: first, half awake na ko nung mga 9 AM kanina. i heard someone goin through my stuff. i saw my sister getting her umbrella in my bag (borrowed it kasi). i went back to sleep. after lunch, i checked the same bag where my sister  got her umbrella, nakalabas yung yosi ko! eh di malamang nakita nya yun diba?! shet don't know what will happen to me...

next, alam na ng friends ko ang sections nila. ako at si richie na lang ang hindi alam yung section. B- vernon, C- jv & howie, G- magnum, H- lj & pertee, I- yohei, J- dre...san pa kaya ako ilalagay?! impossible naman sa a, b, c, h, & j! sa d, e, & f wala naman ako classmate na kabarkada not unless isa dun section ni richie. what's worse is baka ako lang yung girl dun together w/ pepperville!!! ang panget naman ng start ng senior year ko! this world is so unfair!!! i was hopin na sa h ako mapunta or maging classmate sila howie, jv, andre pero wala eh. won't happen. now i'm prayin na sa i ako mapunta w/ yohei & marvin...

-TRYST

it's been a week & 3 days since the break up  i really don't feel like telling the story on how we broke up, lalo lang ako madedepress. haayy...9 months & 4 days kami, who would've thought na aabot kami ng ganon katagal?! bawat luha at tawa: worth it. he's definitely SOMETHIN to me, lakas ng impact! haha! para bang feeling ko wala na ko mahahanap na katulad nya  since then, we still text & talk every day & night. i don't know if that's a good thing sa dalawang tao na kaka-break lang pero everytime magpaparamdam sya, yung sad mode ko biglang nagkaka-spark. it's like i'm this person na may mabigat na dinadala pero biglang gagaan. & what's weirder (?) is that the way we talk, it's as if kami pa rin. pero kahit ganito, nararamdaman ko na ang LAKI pa rin ng kulang sakin.

i try to keep myself busy na nga lang eh, as much as possible whenever there is a chance na i can go out w/ my family or friends, i really go w/ them. it sucks being inside this room alone, especially when night comes, kahit sobrang gusto mo na makatulog hindi kaya kasi sya agad tatatak sa mind mo. (do you feel me girls? i know you do, haha!) sabi nga ng the corrs: "...it's gonna be a long night, it's gonna be cold w/o your arms & i'm gonna get stage fright, caught in the headlights..." anyway...speakin of goin out w/ friends: shet!!! nakaka-sad naman na this is our last year together. after this we'll have separate lives na. si lj magiging ganap ng nanay; si yohei magkaka-bf na (at last); si pertee ikakasal na kay ___; si jv tanggera pa rin, joke! magiging doktora sya!; si andre owner na ng marlboro; si vernon magiging sikat ng volleyball player & take note, women's division!; si magnum singer na (idadagdag sya sa destiny's child); si howie payat na; si richie magiging enterprenuer (tama ba?) ... shucks i'll definitely miss them. imagine, nung grade school frustrated pa kami sa aming mga pagkatao, hindi pa kami marunong magsuklay, maglakad...tas ngayon: look at us! mga pokpok na! joke, hehe! we girls should really make the most of our senior year.

A MESSAGE TO MY BARKADA: there are so many things to say pero unang-una: thanks for everything! lam nyo naman na kayo strength ko eh, especially now sa mga drama ng life ko. kaya natin to! pag may malalaglag, may sasalo. ok?! ingat kayo lagi, god bless! good luck! andito lang ako lagi for you. we all deserve the best from Him cos we have been good girls, hehe! sa mga times na nagkakainitan pa tayo ng ulo, ilibing na natin yun. kung may problema, sabihin sa taong yun. i'll miss you when we go to college, but the memories shall live on. the FRIENDSHIP: a legend.

6 days to go before the senior year, dami nanaman mangyayari.